At base level, the psychology behind submissiveness is actually quite simple. For most people, everyday life means shouldering a whole world of responsibilities and constantly making difficult decisions. We’re in control of our own destinies and we bear the brunt of the consequences we bring on ourselves.
Hence, when given the opportunity to completely relinquish control and let others make decisions on our behalf, it can be extremely liberating. Hence, it’s unsurprising that for many, this feeling of liberation can be the ultimate turn on. Research suggests that being dominated from time to time is something a surprising proportion of people enjoy, it’s just that most people are too afraid to admit it.
A New Kind of Submissiveness
Sexual fetishes that leverage our natural desire to be controlled are diverse to say the least. But there is one form of domination that’s gradually becoming recognised as the single most glamourous fetish of the 21st century – financial domination.
One of the biggest points of appeal with financial domination is the way in which sexual activity (and forms of physical in-person contact in general) is out of the equation. The parties involved never come into physical contact with each other, which removes much of the stigma from the whole thing for many participants.
This is why Findom is becoming an immensely popular fetish among those who are naturally submissive but too shy to admit it, to explore their kinks in a more conventional sense.
How Does Findom Work?
Every dominatrix involved in Findom adopts a slightly different approach. An experienced Domme with more than a few Findom stories to tell, Ishtarxxx has amassed a small army of fans and followers over the past few years:
“In return for your devotion, I will relieve you from the burden of decision, using you as I see fit for my entertainment and the entertainment of my friends. I will decide what is best for you, what roles you should be trained in, when you require humbling and when you will be rewarded,”
“As you serve, I will dig deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of your soul, discovering your most hidden desires and bringing them to the surface, becoming a true mirror to who you are, the only person in the world with whom you can be completely honest.”
An interesting insight into how the whole thing works, but what exactly is in it for those who take part? Thousands of men are diving head-first into the whole Findom thing on a daily basis, seemingly with the expectation of almost nothing in return.
In which case, where’s the appeal?
Findom Stories: Adam’s Account
As with most things, the best place to head for a full disclosure is the mind of someone who’s well and truly into financial domination. Adam – not his real name of course – explains why this particular form of escapism became his preferred form of domination and sexual satisfaction.
“For me, it’s all about the fact that she’s technically invading my personal space and taking control of my life in a way I can’t do much about. I’m not the kind of person who puts too much emphasis on wealth and I’m definitely not rich, but money you work hard to earn is something really personal. It’s also something you need to get by – it’s like oxygen or blood, you know you’re screwed if you don’t have it.”
“When she demands payment and starts threatening to blackmail me, I’m genuinely scared. The adrenalin flows, my palms get sweaty and I get worked up. Then when I pay her, the feeling of relief is hard to explain, but it’s like for that moment I don’t have a care in the world and there’s nothing I can’t do.”
“Why this is sexy to me I’ve no idea – maybe something hormonal or maybe I’m just a nutcase! I really don’t know, but what I do know is that there are a lot of other people doing exactly the same as me and they all get a kick out of it. It’s a subject I’ve researched the hell out of and it’s good to know it’s not just me.”
“I wouldn’t classify myself as bored, lonely or having any major issues with self-esteem. I just like trying things out that are different and that most people wouldn’t get – this definitely ticks both boxes in a big way!”